Pause

It's funny how sometimes things come together. One of my yoga students dropped out of the class because of busyness this time a year. And I remember reading that email and thinking, well, when you are too busy, that's when you need to take a little break. When you are busily running from one thing to the next, that's when it's important to pause once in a while. Otherwise you end up feeling overwhelmed and under constant stress of rushing and not having enough time to do everything.

And then yesterday I got an email from Yoga Journal's mailing list that said the same thing. You need some kind of meditative practice when you are extra busy the most. Think about it. If you are not that busy, you probably have plenty of pauses in your day and feel a nice even flow to your life. Doing meditation then is a nice icing on the cake, but you have plenty of contemplative moments anyway. However, when you are busy-busy, what happens then? You are running around with no pauses. You don't have a time to catch your breath. And that's when you need those pauses the most. Just so you can get in touch with yourself for a moment and stop feeling overwhelmed.

Of course, that's easier said than done, but it's still possible. Anytime you do something mindfully, you are taking that pause. I am trying to make sure that I pause during the day for few times. It becomes easier with time, easier to remember. Maybe I can just close my eyes and take a deep breath, but I'm all the better for it.

Back again

I feel like I'm falling off the face of the Earth and then re-appearing again. My posting certainly hasn't been regular by any accounts. Of course, I have lots of excuses :) Not sure where to even start with those!

I guess the first one was that my dad was in a hospital. I was excitedly waiting for the Thanksgiving break when I would get to do absolutely nothing, and that's when my dad ended up in a hospital. This doesn't sound very caring of me, huh? Well, keep in mind that it all ended well and I was able to be there for my parents. Surprise of surprises, I think this was the first time that I didn't snap at them in a high-stress situation. Perhaps all that mindfulness I'm teaching others is actually working.

Anyway, turns out that my dad has stones in his gall bladder. He will need a surgery to remove the gall bladder sometime soon. The reason that he went to the hospital is that one of the stones got stuck and so he was in a lot of pain. The interesting observation for me was that I did Reiki on my dad when he was in the emergency room and then the doctor said that the stone must have passed on its own sometime during that evening. Interesting coincidence, I think.

Not having a break during my Thanksgiving break, I think I learned three things. First of all, just because you plan, doesn't mean things will happen that way. Plan, but don't get attached to the plan. Second, give myself a little break every day instead of planning a big break at some point in the future. That goes along those lines about eggs in a basket. And thirdly, I need to have more free time and something's gotta give.

Messy, messy

When I was growing up, I always thought that our apartment could be just a little neater. Not that I felt like putting some effort into it beyond the weekly cleaning mandated by my parents. Oh no. In my teenage self-righteousness, I just observed my parents cleaning efforts and compared our apartment to the apartments of my friends. My best friend, in particular, always had an absolutely spotless place. It was amazing and mind-boggling to me. Never a dish in a sink or extra clutter. If there was a newspaper on the living room table, she would apologize for the mess. And both of her parents worked full time too.

Now that I have been living on my own for so long, I have often struggled with clutter. Stopping by my parents place today to take care of the plants (they are on vacation), this struggle really hit home. As I walked into their apartment, I was struck by how neat it looked! Not neat for when I was a teenager, but super neat as I am now. I just thought it ironic and a nice smack in a head by the Universe.

While I would get back on and fall off again from that clutter-free wagon, I have really fallen off this time. We still haven't really unpacked all of my boyfriend's things after he moved in 9 (!!!) months ago. Sure, most of it is unpacked and is in various piles around the condo or falling out of the closets once you open them. And as much as we can blame those on lack of space to put them away, truly we just don't want to deal with it. I don't have time is my usual excuse. Dusting once in a while is the extent of my cleaning these days while my sweetie picks up things after himself, my son, and me. Bless him for that.

I am not really sure what the plan for action is. The first step is to recognize you have a problem, and yes, I have a problem. I visualize myself living in a neat and comforting space, yet do nothing to make it happen. I decided to pick up a book at the library, "It's Hard to Make a Difference When You Can't Find Your Keys: The Seven-Step Path to Becoming Truly Organized" by Marilyn Paul. It was listed as a guide on the website of a professional organizer, Erin Wells. And, I'm looking forward to hosting her at my space in Beverly for "The Sacred Work of Releasing, Cleansing, and Healing" workshop on January 15th. Let me know if you are interested in going, I'll give you more details. I'm hoping by January 15th I'll be able to see some changes in our condo and then continue with some new strategies from her.

Yoga Adventures

As I mentioned yesterday, I finally managed to get my son to my yoga class. Yesterday night was his first class and he brought a friend, also 13 and his friend's mom also came. And then there was my sweetie and my friend. First of all, my son was loudly complaining about going. Then he was finding some ridiculous things to argue about. I don't know if he was nervous or what was going on.

When we got there, he asked to stop at the little store that is on the first floor. I gave him few bucks and the rest of us went up to the yoga studio while the boys went shopping. And so they burst into the room with junk food and sodas in each hand... Horrified is a strong word, but my reaction was getting there. All I could think about was, "Oh, please, I hope no one else comes tonight!". I drew the line when my son pulled out a fork and a jar of olives and decided to eat them right then and there.

And then it was time to start the class. Normally, we start with a bit of centering, grounding, and breath-work. Looking at the boys, they didn't seem like they were going to sit still for that. So, after a very brief grounding, we went onto the movement with your breath with few Kundalini exercises thrown in. Of course, all that intense breathing made the boys giggle. And off we went to learning postures and doing warm-ups and basically just moving. We worked on the Down Dog a bit and then on plank, and then putting things together. As the class progressed, there was less giggling and more of actual doing of the poses. And everyone just loved Savasana at the end.

Several times during the class I was thinking about why am I doing this to myself. This was my idea, I did it. I was concerned that my friend is not being challenged enough as he is way beyond beginner. I was concerned that my sweetie can't tune out all the giggling and is slowly steaming. I was concerned that I'm giving the boys a horrible introduction to yoga and they'll hate it and never go back. I had so many concerns! And yet on a ride back home, my son told me how he really enjoyed Savasana at the end and how he felt melting away. And he also told me how challenging it was for him to do the poses and how his muscles were protesting. And how the fast paced breath-work was funny and he couldn't help giggling. And how now he knows what to expect for the next class. And it was all worth it.

Under control

Well, more or less... I am starting to figure out how to manage my time better and so the level of stress has been steadily lowering. On the big news update, I now have a permission from my boss to come in to work at 7 in the morning. I'll still be working my 40 hours, but I can be more flexible with when I'm here, as long as everyone is happy. Given that I work in a very small group, I think I can keep people happy.

To think how much I was stressing out about asking and how little it took to actually ask (simple email exchange). It's a classic example of making something out bigger than it has to be. Now that it's behind me, I'm looking forward to settling into a comfortable schedule.

Today was a bit of an off day on my proposed schedule though. I was invited to a Wellness Fair at one of the companies at the Cummings Center. This was a great opportunity for me to get out and spread the word about my business, but it was also right in the middle of the day. Luckily, starting earlier in the day gives me greater flexibility, so I am able to fit in all my required hours.

The Wellness Fair was great though. I got a new client, signed up some people for my newsletter, and people in general had a good response to the idea of Reiki and yoga and meditation. And, I also got to meet a massage practitioner whose office is right next door and a psychologist who is also nearby. They were both very nice and they just might send some referrals my way, and I can do the same.

I am also teaching a yoga class tonight. I have finally managed to convince my son to come. I said his friend can come too, so I'm going to have two teenage boys in the class. And the boy's mom is coming as well! We'll have a nice size crowd tonight, mostly beginners. I'm sure we'll have fun. I am very curious to see what the dynamic of the group will be like.

TGIF!

I'm glad it's Friday, even if I had to take my little monkey to the doctor and spend an hour sitting there and waiting.

Why did we have to go to the doctor? No, he doesn't have a flu of any kind. He has been complaining of having bad headaches for a while. Of course, they normally tend to occur while he is in school, so you can understand my skepticism. However, he ended up leaving school earlier last week, and then yesterday the school nurse called me again. He has a headache, he had Advil, and it's not helping. He stayed at school though and came home after it. And the nurse told him that he needs to be seen by a doctor before he can come back to school!

The doctor checked him today and determined that he is fine, and his headaches are due to lack of sleep. He gets about 7 to 8 hours of sleep a night, and he should be getting around 9. Of course, I always try to send him to bed at 10, and he always finds something that he just has to do before bed. Bathroom, extra water, who knows what... So, he promised that he would do all those little things starting at 9:30 so that he can be in bed at 10. I hope it works without too much arguing. It's getting taxing arguing with him at 13. Where before he listened to me, now he just seems to be extra stubborn. I'm guessing it's that attitude that he knows better that's annoying.

Well, wish us luck! I need sleep too, I have a headache!